Thoughts..

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(via sh00ting-starrs)

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(Source: xxdeathtoyouxx, via sh00ting-starrs)

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me: omg did i reply too fast
me: they're going to think i'm obsessed with them
me:

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mom: you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
me: THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
mom: you realize this makes you a nerd
me:
mom:
me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
me: without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
mom:
me:
mom: this isn't normal

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(Source: de-feated, via bemystarship)

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people keep telling me to smoke pot and i’m trying to but it’s not working???

people keep telling me to smoke pot and i’m trying to but it’s not working???

(Source: goblinhoarder, via nomnomnomwtfkity)

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medicii:

Sometimes I post pictures of my cat

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The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!

JESUS CRUST

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

(Source: secretsbest, via bemystarship)

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j-0hn:

“i know that feel, dirk,” every homestuck whispers as they caress the screen, teary-eyed

(via elasticitymudflap)

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(via sh00ting-starrs)